A Credo -For my relationships with others

You and I are in a relationship which I value and want to keep. Yet each of
us is a seperate person with unique needs and the right to meet those
needs.
When you are having problems meeting your needs I will listen with genuine
acceptance so as to facilitate your finding your own solutions instead of
depending on mine. I also will respect your right to choose your own beliefs and
develop your own values, different though they may be from mine.
However, when your behaviour interferes with what I must do to get my own
needs met, I will tell you openly and honestly how your behaviour affects me,
trusting that you respect my needs and feelings enough to try to change the
bahaviour that is unacceptable to me. Also,whenever some behaviour of mine is
unacceptable to you, I hope you will tell me openly and honestly so I can change
my behaviour.
At those times when one of us cannot change to meet the other's needs,let us
acknowledge that we have a conflict and commit ourselves to resolve each such
conflict without either of us resorting to the use of power to win at the
expense of the other's losing.I respect your needs,but I also must respect my
own. So let us always strive to search for a solution that will be acceptable to
both of us. Your needs will be met, and so will mine - neither will lose, both
will win.
In this way, you can continue to develop as a person through satisfying your
needs, and so can I. Thus, ours can be a healthy relationship in which both of
us can strive to become what we are capable of being. And we can continue to
relate to each other with mutual respect, love and peace.

by Thomas Gordon,PH.D.
Founder & Effectiveness Training,Inc.